Sunday, October 22, 2017

October 22, 2017

Dear Diary,

So I guess this year's World Series will be Los Angeles against Houston. I hope Los Angeles wins because Houston is one of the worst places on earth. It's very flat, so it's a good place to land an airplane, which is all I really ever did there. I think we were stopping over there to refuel during the you-know-what. I took one look out the window and nearly threw up.

If you've never been to Houston, don't bother. It's just a flat wasteland covered in concrete filled with hicks and cowboys that vote Republican and are of no use to me that's mostly an oil town, which means the people there are very messy and sticky hardworking blue collar types. About the only thing Houston is good for is natural disasters, but no matter how many times it gets wiped out by floods and hurricanes, they keep rebuilding it. Some people just don't learn, I guess.

I thought I heard Bill mentioning something about having a World Series party downstairs, which I have no idea how he's planning to pull off. Chili and beer is expensive and the finance company took back our entertainment center last November. Ever since the Clinton Foundation went sideways, we've had to watch TV on Bill's old nine inch Sony black and white set Bessie hauled down from the attic. It doesn't even get cable. Sometimes we can pick up over-the-air signals and watch reruns of "Hogans Heroes" during dinner. The picture is snowy, but at least I don't have to talk to him. Last I heard, he was bringing in a 65 inch flat screen from one of those "rent to own" places for like $200 a week. He insisted and said that after a year, we'd own it. Great. We'd be the only people who paid $100,000 for a flat screen Best Buy had on sale for $2500 last week.

He's such an idiot. I thought only dark people fell for that.

I'm not really a sports fan. Ever since we lost the women's lacrosse championship when I was in college, I've avoided following sports. Back then I could run with the best of them. I was captain of the team and we did pretty well in my senior year. Our team was stacked staffed with a bevy of beauties lineup of strong, heavy-legged women that I tried to bed but who ultimately failed me as their captain. All the polls said we'd win the division, but we didn't win anything because our coach gave me bad information and was a misogynist.

I'm still championing women's rights, however. Because we're all champions, no matter how many times we lose.

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