Saturday, January 7, 2017

January 7, 2017

Dear Diary,

The dark days of winter surely are upon us.  I don't know who came up with that phrase, but I've always liked it, so I'm stealing it.

It's been a month since the you-know-what and while I'm still shaken, my recovery is progressing.  I can feel it. Just yesterday, for example, I had Bessie turn on the television to see if I could handle reality what was happening outside my bedroom.  I suppose I could have used the remote, but it's one of those big black things with so many buttons that I get tipsy just trying to figure out which one turns the damn thing on.  Besides, I prefer to have Bessie stand next to the TV while I command ask her to change channels.  I'm not too sure she enjoys it as much as I do, but unemployment being what it is, she keeps quiet about it.

Unfortunately, it didn't do much good. No matter what channel we watched, everything was about Florida.  Everywhere we looked, it was Florida, Florida, Florida.  As if some big disaster had happened there.  I don't get it. Apparently there was some big hoohah at an airport, and all the TV stations pre-empted their usual shows, which meant I couldn't find one rerun of Wonder Woman, even though the TV Guide listed a special marathon where they show back-to-back episodes.  I just love Lynda Carter.  She looks so yummy confident in that costume.  I was really looking forward to it, but ended up being very disappointed, as usual.

Quite frankly, I don't know why everyone is so surprised about things going sideways in Florida.  That's one creepy place, filled with horrible people.  And nothing good ever happens there.  All they have is hurricanes, sink holes and that bitchy little Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.  The entire state promised they'd help me and every one of those little trolls let me down.  Just stabbed me in the back.  Hateful little monsters.  Almost as bad as those cheese heads in Wisconsin.  Thank goodness I never have to go THERE again!!!

Well, dear diary, just look at me now.  I'm all worked up.  My blood pressure is probably through the roof and there's nothing on television.  I've already watched all the Disney princess movies a dozen times and I can only take that curvy mermaid so many times before I get "my itch," if you know what I mean.

Dr. Morell delivered a whole new assortment of pills today.  I think I'll try the blue ones.

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