Saturday, January 28, 2017

January 28, 2017

Dear Diary,

I'm beginning to think that the world really is going nuts, because everyone seems to be making a big deal out of stuff that is really not that important.  I see a trend here, but Dr. Morell says I'm looking for patterns where they don't exist, which could be a sign of "paranoid delusions."  I'm no fool.  I've been out there in the real world.  I know drug real from real real.  Something weird is going on.

Remember that whole big fuss about my deleting e-mails? Duh. It's not like everyone doesn't do that.  But for some reason, they made a big fuss about it with me, and I suspect they're doing the same thing about this whole registering muslims thing.

Personally, I don't think it's such a bad idea.  I remember when Bill and I got married, we registered china and nobody blinked an eye.  We just told everyone what we were looking for and the lady at Dillard's department store did the rest!  There were no computers in those days, so it wasn't as easy to keep track of which place settings came from who, but we managed!  And that was china!  I don't know that there's any country more devious than those slanty-eyed bastards.

Same thing with those muslim people. Last I heard, there were a billion or two of them roaming the planet, which is a lot to keep track of.  Don't get me wrong, I've gotten a lot of money joy working with those arabs (although between you and me, I always confuse which ones are Sunni and which ones are Shittes.  I remember one time, in Iraq, I met this adorable young muslim valet who was sold to me as a slave my guide in Saudi Arabia. She was the cutest little thing and I called her my "Sunni Delight."  Get it?  I had to explain it to her).

Overall, I believe that registering muslims is not something most people want to see happen, because it conjures up notions of Hitler rounding up Jews, gays and gypsies while Franklin Roosevelt herded Japanese people.  And Italians.  And Germans. Then again, I do have to admit you never know what those desert rats are hiding under those flowing robes.  Could be a keister as wide as a truck or vest loaded with C4 plastique.  I know I was PLENTY nervous whenever I had to meet with them to pick up a payoff negotiate plans for peace.  You just never know who's won the "75 virgin lottery" until it's too late, if you get my drift.  One wrong move and KABOOM!

Well, who cares?  It's Carrot Head's problem, not mine.  Still, it doesn't seem like such a tough one to solve.  After all, isn't that what software is for?

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