Wednesday, February 1, 2017

February 1, 2017

Dear Diary,

Where have I been for the last 24 hours?  On Sunday, nobody heard of Carrot Head's choice for the Supreme Court and today, nobody can stop talking about this Gorsuch fellow.  I thought I knew everyone who's important, but apparently I skipped over Gorsuch after cutting that deal with Bernie Sanders because I thought it was done deal during the you-know-what.  I was as surprised as anyone, especially because this Gorsuch guy isn't female, homo, muslim, blind or in a wheelchair.  I guess those days are over, eh?

Tee hee.

Not that stacking choosing the Supreme Court is such a huge deal.  It's not exactly rocket science to see that Ginsburg character should have been set out to pasture for a good ten years ago.  Ruth is a sweet person -- you know, for a Jew -- and I love the way she used to brow beat the dead Italian one.  What was his name?  Scali-something.  Apparently, he died in his bed of sleep apnea. He was a pretty fat guy.  I heard they had to forklift him out of that hotel room.  Bill has sleep apnea.  Snores like a freaking freight train. Practically sucks the paint right off the walls every night, but he still wakes up alive every morning, so there you have more of the Rodham bad luck!

I was fortunate enough to have a nice chat with Justice Ginsburg when I was working at the State department and I recall she was a very kind woman, but between you and me, diary, she can't wear black to save her life.  Old people should stick to lighter colors, and especially "summer" types like Ruth.  After 80, her skin really bleached out, so when she wears black, she looks more like Morticia Addams' corpse than a token woman Jew highly-respected judge.  She smiled when I mentioned a change of wardrobe. Either that, or she had really bad gas because someone was ripping some mean silent-but-deadlies during our meeting and I'm pretty confident it was her because she's a big broccoli fan and that stuff can light you up like a roman candle.

I guess I'm okay with this Gorsuch person, even if he is from Colorado, although I have no idea what they do there.  I think they make beer.  I hope he gets approved, because it will save everyone the hassle of re-alphabetizing the court roster, since both he and Ruth have last names beginning with "G".  You can just swap them out.  See? I look for things like that.

Anyway, he doesn't dye his hair the way Ruth does, so he can carry off that all-black look.  He's a "winter."

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