Friday, February 10, 2017

February 10, 2017

Dear Diary,

Is it me or has the whole world gone absolutely crazy?  Today I heard that one of those circuit courts shit-canned Carrot Head's order to screen out bomb-carrying towel heads innocent refugees from those countries most responsible for breeding terrorism.  Strike a blow for justice, I say! Good for them!  As far as I'm concerned, America is a land of morons anyway immigrants and everyone should be welcome, regardless of race, color or creed.

I didn't always feel that way, but recently I've had a change of heart, mainly because I'm sick and tired of watching all those disgusting TV commercials of little non-white people with flies on their faces.  It's bad enough to have to watch that crap, but Jesus, do they have to play that sad violin music?  And what's with the droopy-drawers actress reading the script with the crocodile tears?  I can be in the middle of "I Love Lucy," laughing at that episode where Ricky discovers Lucy in the closet, and for no reason, this shit comes on ruins my whole morning.  That sucks.

I don't know how much they pay those little kids to look into the camera and give us the Mexican painting-on-velvet  heart-wrenching "big brown eyes" look, but I've been to those arab sewer pits several Middle Eastern countries and let me tell you, for every one of those smelly beggars seven year olds doing the "poor refugee" bit looking for freedom, there are at least ten more learning how to build a bomb in the basement with their EasyBake Ovens who need our help.

Well, that was difficult. But you know what I mean.

And while I'm on the subject, I'm getting pretty sick and tired of all those other commercials twisting my arm for 19¢ a day, too.  It seems like every five minutes they're trotting out some kid missing a limb or two, hawking "an adorable blanket" in exchange for a check.  I'm all for an armless kid getting a new lease on life, but if you ask me, the first thing they should teach those kids isn't how to hold out their artificial hands expecting a check. I find the whole thing in very poor taste.

If I were queen running the show, you can bet I'd let in just about anyone who wanted to come here, as long as they agreed to abide by the Constitution and live no higher than the fifth floor of our building. I think that's fair.  I also think that with more people allowed into the country, there'd be fewer of those horrible TV commercials, which would suit me just fine.  I have a hard enough time watching all those chained-up skinny dogs with flies on THEIR faces.  I don't need this.

Where's Dr. Morell's number?  I think the Zoloft has triggered some moodiness.

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