Thursday, March 30, 2017

March 30, 2017

Dear Diary,

Now that Dr. Morell has balanced my meds perfectly, I'm able to see things more clearly.  I'm not talking about my left eye.  That's still a little off, but unless you're looking straight at me, you can hardly tell when it wanders off on its own.  No, what I mean is that I am finally able to think about my future and how I can further wreck damage contribute to this money machine wonderful country of ours.  This is the first time since the you-know-what that I've felt this optimistic and I must say it feels good.

The other day, I tried a new hairstyle and wore a new leather jacket, which polls say really did well with the peasants my subjects supporters.  Of course, I don't trust polls the way I used to, but I could tell public opinion is slowly turning back my way because Bill tells me there are lots fewer twitters about "killing the bitch" and many more about "throwing her ass in prison."  My woman's intuition tells me the move from calling for my brutal murder to non-lethal lifetime imprisonment is a subtle-but-meaningful softening.  This makes me very happy.

One thing that Carrot Head has done is come up with colorful names and terms that the simpletons voters can latch on to. I have to admit, he's very good at it.  Phrases like "Draining the swamp," "Bigly" and "Make America whatever again" have succeeded, although I'm fairly sure that "Nasty Woman" plays best in those ungrateful turd pits industrial states like Wisconsin and Pennsylvania.

It's funny how those names work. Yesterday, I heard someone talking about a "Freedom Caucus," but for the life of me, I have no idea what that means. To be completely honest, I don't think anyone in Washington, D.C., really knows what a caucus is.  I think it's a kind of bird, but when I asked Bill what it meant he just grabbed his crotch and grinned, "This here's all the caucus you need, babe!"

He's such a child.

I've asked Bessie to buy my a pencil so that I can start making notes.  I'm hoping I can organize a new team, with a new name.  That "persistence/resistance" thing was a neat rhyme, but it didn't have great legs.  You know who has great legs?  Huma.  Sweet Jesus.  They go on for days.  In high heels with her little bikini panties that tie with a string.  I used to pull out the knot with my teeth.  Dear God.

Um, gotta go.

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