Friday, March 31, 2017

March 31, 2017

Dear Diary,

Slept in today since there was no real reason to wake up. By the time Bessie drew back the blackout curtains, it was already 2 P.M. and I missed all of my favorite soaps.  I used to love watching "The Young & The Restless" and "General Hospital" back in the eighties.  Never missed an episode.  Now I watch all the reruns as if they were new, which isn't terribly difficult considering that the meds haven't been able to reverse the memory impairment from that time I knocked my head.

I have no clue if Erica will get divorced or if Luke and Laura will get married.

It's weird how I can remember some things, but not others.  For example, I can recall greeting the Russians in my office when I was Secretary of State, but the meetings themselves are completely blacked out.  The last thing I remember was the Russian ambassador asking me what I take in my coffee and then waking up at my desk an hour later with my pants suit around my ankles and all my desk drawers open.  Often, there was a box of Kleenex and a  note in Russian that translated to, "Call you later, I promise."

It was easy for me to get along with the Russians, because I had what they wanted and that's the way you have to play them.  This is something that General Flynn obviously didn't know when he got cozy with them as part of Carrot Head's team.  He should have known that you can't get what you want from the Russkies without a wink and some feminine charm!

Or twenty tons of Uranium.  Same thing.

Now I hear that Pelosi and a gang of idiot Senators my esteemed colleagues are trying to crucify requesting General Flynn testify on his role with the Russians.  If I were the general, I can tell you the first thing I'd do is buy off visit a cheap an ophthamologist and get fitted with a pair of thick, black-framed eyeglasses, pronto.  Instead of asking for immunity, I'd just sit there and wave my hands and yell back every time they asked me a question.  Stuff like, "What does it matter?" and "Who ordered the chocolate milk?"  Believe me, they eat that shit up with a knife and fork if you do it right. Two or three rounds and they totally forget all about Benghazi what they asked you.

Tee hee.

Part of me is really glad those days are over.  These days, I think more about what lays ahead for me. I have more important things to worry about. Like if I'm really going to have to sit next to all those Jewish people when Chel's kids' get bar mitzvahed.

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