Monday, April 3, 2017

April 3, 2017

Dear Diary,

Feeling a bit melancholy today, because I hear that they're getting closer to replacing Scalia with that Gorsuch fellow from Colorado.  I'm not sure why this makes me feel sad.  Maybe because it takes me back to the time when I was a highly-paid Senator who managed to do nothing for six years and still collect a paycheck.  Boy, those were the days. A girl could just hop on a plane to anywhere at taxpayers' expense for whatever reason for some fact-finding mission without going through security.  In those days, I could take my personal assistant along with me, who attended to all my personal needs. We had a very special relationship.  And blankets.  Those flights could be long, but somehow, we never seemed to have enough time. Sigh.

Speaking of time, it turns out that Jew monkey Chuck Schumer is planning to waste all kinds of time in the Senate vote by filibustering Gorsuch's nomination.  That's so silly.  In fact, this whole Scalia thing doesn't make sense to me.  If those idiots Senators had listened to me in the first place, none of this would be necessary.  But noooooo.  Nobody listens to the one person in Washington, D.C., who has experience in setting up murders political dialogue.  They just stumble all over themselves and the next thing you know, you've got a Democrat everyone hates because his cousin is fatter than she is funny disrespects for not accomplishing anything.

If they'd have asked me, I would have told them that killing off Scalia Scalia dying in a hunting lodge should have been made to look like a shooting accident should have been made to look like sleep apnea.  Something like the CPAP mask falling off and snoring himself to death.  People buy that line all the time, because two-bit class-action lawyers are always on TV trolling for accidental death victims.  Heck, death-by-snoring has to be at least as believable as Vince Foster shooting himself in the back of the head two times.  I mean, NOBODY asked about that one, and by the time they found his sorry carcass, we already had three lawyers on retainer.  Didn't need one of them!

Hell, Cheney fired a shotgun into his best friend's face and the media treated it about as harshly as ants getting into the picnic sandwiches.

See?  This is what happens when you leave the job to amateurs.  Now everyone's snooping around, wondering why they drained Scalia's body fluids into the toilet and why they let a Boy Scout do the autopsy.  Very messy.

They should have approved that faggot Judge Garland when they had the chance, but they couldn't do that, either.  See why that book about me was called, "A Woman in Charge"?  If I'd been running the show, I'd have held a lot of committee hearings and discussed women's issues and how I was the most traveled Secretary of State in history and that kind of bullshit the merits of our legal system.  Then, when everyone was sound asleep, I would have called for a really fast vote, like Pelosi did with Obamacare.

Say what you will about that old whore her, but that bitch Nancy gets it done.


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