Tuesday, May 2, 2017

May 2, 2017

Dear Diary,

As if there wasn't enough to be depressed about, Dr. Morell tells me there's some kind of book out there, written by those rats some ex-staffers of mine during the you-know-what. It must be filled with pretty awful stuff, judging from the number of Xanax and Valium bottles he left on my nightstand.  I don't mind taking the extra meds, though, as long as he tells Bessie to keep the bottles of Ensure coming. Delusions are one thing, but dehydration can be lethal!

I may be over-medicated, but even I can tell when trouble is afoot.  I'll bet this new book has all of the worst stories ever told about me, except for the people I've had killed the positive issues I promoted, like funneling Clinton Foundation donations to my personal accounts all the work I did to help women and children around the world.  People don't seem to care that while I was Secretary of State and a Senator, I traveled the world and talked a lot about women's issues.  I talked about them in Africa, Indonesia and of course, Saudi Arabia, where the bribes were the healthiest women are still regarded as second class citizens.

Even then, I had my detractors, who said that I was all talk and that I didn't really do anything for all those children. Well, I can tell you, dear diary, I did plenty to help them.  For one thing, I had a lot of those detractors killed established foundations whose funds went directly to our offshore accounts building schools and shelters.  To be honest, I'm not really sure how many were actually built, but I know we talked a lot about building them.

One place where we made a lot of money did a lot of good was Haiti.  Those poor people were so dark, smelly and disgustingly dirty badly inconvenienced when something or other happened to them.  I recall that our foundation was one of the first relief organizations on the ground and years later, we were still talking about helping them.  That's the kind of dedication I'm sure those turncoats didn't include in their nasty little book.  I hope they all die from bet they didn't even mention all I was planning to do about fighting cancer. Joe Biden stole that one from me, too.

Why are people so mean to me?  Why do they have to write books like that about me?  And why do they sell millions of copies?  Next thing you know, they'll probably make a movie from the book, too.
I should call Webb Hubbell.  He knows entertainment law.  I'll bet he could get me points on the back end.

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