Saturday, May 6, 2017

May 6, 2017

Dear Diary,

I have no idea where Dr. Morell might be and I'm getting a little worried. He's usually at my bedside every day around two thirty, just after I wake up, to check my pulse and blood pressure. I still don't understand why he has to take my temperature rectally, but as the good doctor says, "Just relax enjoy it." The he smiles in a weird way and videos the whole thing on his iPhone.  But he's the doctor, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that you must kill the people who betray you trust the people you hire, or you'll never get anywhere.

I used the extra time to think about my future and decided that there's still enough of me left to scam a lot of money from help the forgotten Americans who voted for me during the you-know-what. I don't see the point of running for office anymore, when all the real money is in the behind-the-scenes stuff, like Soros I can do more good as an "elder statesperson."

The way I see it, starting my own PAC makes the most money sense, especially now that the Clinton Foundation is being investigated isn't taking in as much cash has been re-purposed.  I was thinking we could call it "Onward Together," which has a neat ring to it:  On the one hand, it sounds upbeat, like me.  On the other, it reminds all those hardcore Christian maniacs more conservative Americans of "Onward Christian Soldiers," which is hardly a toe-tapper, but seems to whip those anti-muslim folks into a real, donation-giving frenzy.

You have to go with what works.

I was also considering rounding up calling in the old gang who worked for me during the you-know-what, except for those morons the creative team who designed that stupid logo and tagline. What were they thinking?  I get the "big H" part, but why was the arrow pointing to the right?  That, and the "I'm with her" line played right into Carrot Head's hands.  If Podesta hadn't convinced me the fix was in, I'd have had them all killed made a bigger deal out of it.  As it is, they've been in hiding nobody has heard or seen them since early November, so I suppose that's just as good.

I ran this idea past Bill and he was, as usual, very supportive of the idea. He immediately volunteered to start screening interns.  Mostly brunettes, because he knows what I like.  Bill's very good about that sort of thing. He always tries to interview women in a neutral location, like in a hotel room or an airplane on the tarmac.  I know he gives it 110% because he comes home looking exhausted and heads straight for the showers.

This whole PAC thing has rejuvenated me! I'm getting all kinds of ideas on how to get revenge make America great again revitalize the Democratic party.  I wonder if Huma is free to talk about it.  Nothing heavy, you know.  Just coffee.

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