Sunday, May 7, 2017

May 7, 2017

Dear Diary,

I was glad to see Dr. Morell back at my bedside this afternoon.  Not seeing him for his daily visit bothered me enough to cause an outbreak of hives on my tummy, just between the fourth and fifth folds. It turned out not to be a large outbreak, plus it had an upside: When he pried the folds apart, I found that "I'm With Her" ballpoint pen from the you-know-what.  I thought it was lost forever!

I do get a bit anxious when Dr. Morell makes any changes to my schedule, because I depend on him so much for my wellbeing. The worst periods are the times when he has to make quick trips to Moscow, but he's a sweetheart and always makes sure to check in by phone.

Last time he was here, we tried a new kind of therapy. I was just nodding off when he asked me to play a game of word association.  That's where he says one word, and I'm supposed to say the first word that pops into my mind.  He gave me a shot of sodium pentathol to calm my nerves and we started playing.

He said, "Russia," and I said, "Putin."  Then he said, "E-mail," and I said, "Server."  Then he said, "Where?" and I said, "On the computer in my office just next to the photocopier."  Then he said, "Password?" and I think I said, "SexyHuma, two words and the 's' and the 'h" are capitalized."  Then I drifted off to sleep and Dr. Morell left on his week-long vacation to Moscow.

I wish I remembered more. It was really fun.

Overall, I'm feeling better and stronger.  Day by day, my future becomes clearer.  Once I become more emotionally stable less drug-dependent recruit a new staff, I'm going to get a facelift on the phone to Barbra Streisand and see if I can rustle up some startup cash get a donation to get things rolling.  She can be annoying but she's always good for a quick ten or twenty thousand. Always asks for a receipt, though.  Such a Jew.  All that money and she still won't do anything about that nose.

Subscribe for each day's entry by Email!