Friday, May 12, 2017

May 12, 2017

Dear Diary,

What a busy day. I had completely forgotten that Dr. Morell was going to be here for my six month check up, which meant undergoing a battery of tests.  Some of the examinations are physical and some are psychological.  After the trauma of the you-know-what, Dr. Morell says I have to be carefully monitored so that I can pay back all those traitors resume public life.

It was a very long day, beginning with a reflex test.  I was exceptionally proud of my performance on that one and Dr. Morell agreed with me.  He said he's never seen anyone catch flies as quickly as I did, but that it's probably a good idea not to eat them, as that could put people off.  Still, he noted that my hand-eye coordination had improved, with my scoring higher on the "check test."  That's where I practice signing my name on the bottom of blank checks made out to Dr. Morell.  He says my dexterity has improved so much that the signatures are much smoother and less shaky than they used to be.

Dr. Morell is such a sweetheart. He's always so encouraging.  I need more positive people in my life like him.  Bill was never like that. Don't get me wrong, diary.  Whenever I needed a body disposed of help, Bill was always there to lend a hand. But every once in a while, I'd catch him giving me a dirty look or muttering under his breath about how he'd like me to bury my own stiffs handle my own problems once in a while.

I always thought marriage was a give-and-take kind of thing. When Bill said we were "partners in crime," I thought it was just an expression. My bad, I guess!  Somewhere along the way, we lost that intimacy of sharing legal defense bills and bribery expenses our hopes and dreams and young interns. Dr. Morell says this is often the case with criminals couples who have shared a cell been married for a long time.  He says I should just give it time. Probably 25 to life.

Anyway, we finished up the day doing more tests.  I actually enjoyed the "word association" test. That's where Dr. Morell would say a random word, like "flower" or "puppy" and I was supposed to respond with the first word that popped into my head.  I think I did really well, because for every word he said, I'd say, "Murder!" really fast. By the way he was scribbling notes, I think he was impressed with how sharp I've gotten.

After a day like that, you can bet I was tuckered out, so Bessie brought me an early dinner.  We had tater tots.  Yum!

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