Thursday, June 15, 2017

June 15, 2017

Dear Diary,

Holy cow, I can't see or hear much from my bedroom, but from what I hear, there's a lot of voters people out there who are killing each other with guns. I think that's terrible. In fact, I've always thought that this country has been too obsessed with guns.  I know, we have the Second Amendment and blah, blah, blah, but in my experience at least, if you're not happy, guns won't solve your problems. Unless you're Vince Foster. Or Seth Rich. But those are isolated cases.  And even then, it won't make you as happy as a massage and mani-pedi at a day spa.

Those are the ginchiest!

I've never shot a gun myself, mainly because I hire people to take out my enemies I oppose violence when there are witnesses in any form. I once held a hand gun though, and was surprised at how heavy it was! I don't know how those black gangsters hold them sideways with one hand when they kill each other over drug deals people can draw, aim and shoot with such accuracy. It must be because they work out with hand weights.

To be candid, I was offered a gun as a gift once, but I couldn't accept it because I was in public office at the time.  Besides, a nine millimeter semi-automatic just doesn't do the job as well as a .357 magnum with a high grain load I really don't know that much about guns. The arab who sold it to me person who gave it to me assured me that it fired reliably with minimal recoil the piece was strictly a collectible and would make my problems "disappear in a pink mist" probably appreciate in value.

I couldn't be rude, so I accepted it, but I still have no idea how to use it. Bill keeps it in a box high up in a closet where Podesta can get to it if any other weasels like Seth Rich give us trouble it stays locked away. That was Dr. Morell's idea after he caught me with the barrel in my mouth one night last November. But we don't talk about it. It was a very dark time for me.

Thank goodness we changed our latest tagline from "Resist and Reload" to "Resist and Persist." Whew! That would have been a headache for sure. I just wish this all happened a year ago, before I had to pay Bernie to drop out of the you-know-what.  Could have saved myself $600K.

Damn.

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