Tuesday, June 20, 2017

June 20, 2017

Dear Diary,

Tough day. My hormone imbalance countered the anti-psychotics and Bessie caught me trying to fly out the second story bathroom window. I don't know what all the fuss was about. I had my magic cape tied around my neck, but Bessie insists that if it really were a magic cape, it wouldn't be made of terrycloth.

That's just the start of it. I think I'm on to something bigger.

I was more than a little disturbed to learn that we're in some kind of war over the Middle East. For the life of me, I thought all of that business ended when we apologized for airing that Benghazi video on YouTube, but now they want us to believe there's really some sort of conflict going on in Syria.  At least that's what CNN and MSNBC are reporting.

But I have my doubts.

I've always had the ability to see things that simply aren't there other people miss. Call it schizophrenia  or delusional paranoia "vision" or "enhanced ability," if you will.  It's not so much what I see as what other people don't see that makes me doubt what the news media reports. I said this all during the you-know-what, but nobody listened to me then, either.

For example, if we're really at war in Syria, where are all the camels? Everyone knows that the towel heads arabs live in tents and ride camels, but I've never seen one camel in any news footage supposedly coming from Syria.  This makes me very suspicious.

Another thing that's missing from the news reports: pyramids. How stupid do these networks think the peasants Americans are? Not everyone may have gone to an expensive, insular college like me, but I think most people know there are pyramids in the Middle East.  But we never see those in the news, either. Why? What is it they don't want us to know?

Now that I think about it, the only things I see are F-15 jets and ISIS beheadings, but those could be filmed anywhere.  Like on a sound stage in Area 51.  Who would know? That's what they did to fake the moon landing and there's enough stock footage of F-15s streaking over God's wasteland the Nevada desert that looks enough like Iraq to be convincing. A college kid who knows Photoshop could handle the rest.

I'm seeing a pattern here: No camels, no pyramids, fake moon landing and losing the you-know-what despite winning the popular vote.  It's all very, very strange and yet very clear to me.  Why can't anyone else see this?  The answer came to me when I was on the toilet:

I must be the Chosen One as I've insisted all along, destined to save humanity in a way only I can.

Gotta run. Dr. Morell is here with new psychotropics that supposedly have fewer side effects, which is good news. I wouldn't want anything to interfere with my super powers.

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