I'm beginning to think that what this
This is where I believe that we can all
Years ago, before neither of them knew I was planning to run
I swear, that man has booty on the brain. It's sick.
I'll spare you the details on what Bernie looks like in a swim suit, but the man has little chicken legs and a little pot belly and is white as a ghost, except for the redneck suntan from his elbows on down. He kept asking Bessie for more banana daiquiris until he was three sheets to the wind, bragging to anyone who'd listen that even though he was born Jewish, but can't pass up a bacon cheeseburger. His wife must get beaten at home pretty often, because she didn't say a word all day. She just sat behind him like a dummy on the chaise lounge, squeezing the pimples on his back.
The high point of the party was when Warren wanted everyone to watch her do a cannonball into the deep end of the pool. I swear, that woman is such an attention whore. She doesn't look so hot in a one-piece either, let me tell you. Very bottom-heavy. It was kind of like watching a sack of potatoes being catapulted into the air, with bulges of cellulite all trying to seek their own orbit. Really gross.
Everyone had to stop what they were doing while she climbed on to the diving board and took a huge leap, but the joke was on her, because her wig flew off in mid-flight and landed at the other end of the pool. Of course, all the guests started making jokes about her being scalped, you know, with her "being Indian" and all. What a poser.
We're going to keep the party very small this year. That's assuming Dr. Morell lets me out of my room.