Thursday, July 6, 2017

July 6, 2017

Dear Diary,

Well, I guess Carrot Head is in Poland now, which must make his Ukrainian whore happy. I'm sure she's thrilled to be prancing around the Iron Curtain in her slit-skirt designer dresses, parading her rich American sugar daddy husband in front of all those fat fishwives wearing their babushkas and peeling potatoes in their socks and sandals. That's so low class. Everyone knows that the King's consort First Lady is supposed to wear a baggy pantsuit, preferably a poly/cotton blend.

Those two are probably having the time of their lives being treated like royalty. They don't even see what's coming their way, because those Poland people can be a pretty vicious bunch. They'll knife you in the back when you're not looking, even if you're white. Let's face it, back in the second world war, most of the people in Carrot Head's audience had grandparents making swastika-shaped brownies for lunch. Even today, the Polish government doesn't let anyone in that country unless they're white, Catholic and swear to never admit their Jewish roots.

The Polish people have endured a lot over the years, but in fact have much to be proud of. Sure, it's easy to laugh at Polish jokes, like how many it takes to change a light bulb (Answer: One thousand: one to hold the bulb while the other 999 turn the house around and around). These are not stupid people, by any means. Anyone who has ever marveled at systematic genocide and well-built concentration camps will tell you these folks know what they're doing.

In addition to jokes and mass murder, Poland has contributed much to the world. For example, the Polish sausage. Who doesn't love those? Forget what kinds of animal parts they grind up and stuff into them, we all know how yummy they can be, although personally, they can keep me on the toilet for hours.

I remember visiting Poland when I was Secretary of State. Not sure if they had Immodium there.

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