Sunday, July 16, 2017

July 16, 2017

Dear Diary,

I took most of the day to simply relax, since Chel and the half-Jew grandkids were supposed to drop by to show me their new puppy. Personally, I don't give two figs about those walking flea farms, but Chel was making a big deal about rescuing cats and dogs from animal shelters. She's so naive.  As if it were the key to ending world suffering. The shelter only has a week to find the strays a home. After that, they stick them into vacuum chambers that suck the oxygen right out of their lungs and makes them flop around until they finally gasp and croak.

It's pretty cool.

Chel is still young, so she's idealistic.  She feels very strongly that when it comes to animals, we should rescue them through pet adoptions in order to find them new homes. She still doesn't understand that it's way easier and more cost-efficient to kill babies like we do in Planned Parenthood clinics than getting people animals to use birth control. It's very difficult to get a German Shepherd to swallow an Estrostep pill without getting dog slobber all over your hands.  Plus, most dogs are pretty sneaky little shits. They'll let you put the pill in their snoot, but spit it out when you're not looking.  Next thing you know, Rover's getting humped by a Great Dane and your backyard has turned into a puppy mill.

This is why we must keep Roe v. Wade. It affects all forms of pregnant life: human, dogs, or cats.  I mean, what difference does it make????  If you can kill it in the womb, it should be covered by Obamacare. It's like a tax cut for blacks and Puerto Ricans the poor, because they don't have to pay child support and we don't have to pay cops to run down blacks and Puerto Ricans deadbeat dads.

Incidentally, this is how the uptown expression, "It's a bitch's right to choose," began. Black people African-Americans love me because I talk the talk.  Every once in a while, I say "Yo" and raise a fist just to show them I stand with them, even though a lot of them stood with Carrot Head during the you-know-what. Still, I show them respect. A lot of them carry knives.

Anyway, I had Bessie spread the New York Times on the floor before they brought the dog. Damn newspaper ought to be good for something.

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