Wednesday, July 26, 2017

July 26, 2017

Dear Diary,

Just heard the news that Carrot Head doesn't want to allow sex freaks transgender people into the armed forces. I find this confusing, although probably not as confusing as I understand these nut cases types of people can be. Personally, I never could never relate to that whole gender confusion thing. What's the big deal? Unless you're blind or really near-sighted, one look between your legs should tell you everything you need to know.  If you're confused about that, how can you be sure your gun is pointed the right way?

I think the concept most people miss is that it's not what you're born with, it's what you prefer to suck and lick how you feel about yourself that counts. I guess there are men who think they're women and women who think they're men. But once again, this just shows how unimaginative Republicans can be. If I had won the you-know-what, I could have solved this problem willy-nilly. I'd line up all the men wannabes and have them face all the women wannabes. Then, when I blew my whistle, they'd all switch places. Done!

This stuff is so simple. I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal out of it.

Of course, it probably would cost a lot to keep trans people in the military. Leather underpants, harnesses and lubricants can run up a pretty hefty tab, especially if you get the good stuff, instead of that cheap Chinese junk you have to throw away after just a few uses.

I think people can be so intolerant of others' differences. Transgender people are just as stable as you or me, at least as long as their meds and hormones hold out. Believe me, the last thing you want is to be under enemy fire with your estrogen supply running out. I remember going through menopause. Those hot flashes were not fun, and the night sweats nearly drove me crazy. I also got very angry over little things, like Ron Brown and Seth Rich. I can only imagine what it would have been like if I'd been sleeping with a loaded M-16 within reach! Whew!

I'm not saying that admitting transgenders into the service would be easy. I mean, who's going to take a woman's order seriously when her feet, hands and adam's apple are bigger than your father's? That's gotta be weird.  Which brings to mind another mystery I've always wondered about:

How do they make fake boners?

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