Tuesday, August 8, 2017

August 8, 2017

Dear Diary,

Call me old fashioned, but I still am a big fan of the United Nations. I've always maintained that it takes a village, and every village has its council of elders who oppress and murder people for their own gain provide wise and thoughtful leadership. So I was very please to see them endorse new sanctions on that little fat boy in North Korea. I love the idea of everyone ganging up working together against despotic regimes that starve their people while not sending money to the Clinton Foundation firing off nuclear missiles.

Although I'm a big fan of secret assassinations talking things out, there comes a time when you simply have to get tough with the gooks people. Those orientals can be pretty stubborn if you get on their wrong side. One time, I was at the post office waiting in line when this really loud Chinese woman just pushed her way to the front of the line. I couldn't understand a word she said, but I do recall she smelled like a mix of fish, garlic and stale frying oil. I guess those people can't smell themselves, living the way they do, but someone should tell them that you can't get odors out of polyester no matter how much you wash it.

Actually, you get a lot of funny-smelling people at the United Nations, because most of them come from countries where they don't have indoor plumbing. The rest of them do, like France and Iran, but they still prefer covering up with heavy doses of cologne to showering, which is almost as gross. I don't care how much Drakkar Noir you pour over yourself, B.O. is still B.O.

I guess the important thing is that North Korea is on notice now that the United Nations has issued its edict. I'm sure nothing gets that little Buddha boy shaking in his boots more than a bunch of hand-wringing ninnies the leading powers of the world threatening to do more threatening if these threats don't work. You know what would work? A little Hallmark greeting card reminding that little turd that tomorrow is the anniversary of Hiroshima.  Yeah, that's right. I said it. Believe me, that message isn't lost on anyone within a thousand mile radius of Pyongyang.

In any case, I'm glad to see that we're finally doing something about North Korea. Well, at least we're talking about doing something. Actually, I think we're talking about talking about doing something. I can't really say because I've been out of the loop for a long time.

I'm going to talk to Sally about it later today. She does my nails. She has slanted eyes, so I bet she'll know.

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