The more I read about the private sector, the more I'm inclined to give it a try. In fact, just as soon as Dr. Morell declares my med schedule stable, I'm seriously thinking about taking a stab at becoming a CEO of a company or something like that. After all, if a skinny homo like Tim Cook can score billions just by pushing pointless technology on hipsters or a fat oaf like Al Gore can parlay a doomsday movie into millions, I should be able to make bank, no problem.
Confidentially, diary, I've been out of the game for a long time and I'm just not sure I'm up to speed on the hot opportunities. For example, I heard that Uber company, which I think is just the cutest name ever, is looking for a new boss. I just love the way it sounds. Sometimes, when my happy drugs are peaking, I just sit up in my bed with the dopiest smile and go, "Uber, Uber, Uber." Bessie usually stands there with my diaper change and scratches her head, but I think it's funny. I could run a company like that.
Of course, being the woman in charge of a private company would bring a number of challenges. Top of the list would be getting everyone to address me as "Madame President." I think it's important to establish that right up front. Next on the list would be one of those cushy private bathrooms adjoining to my office. I love those. Nothing says
The more I think about it, being a woman in the private sector might be just the ticket for me. I could carry on the noble traditions of women like Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorina. Strong,
This sounds much better than all that talk of a glass ceiling. If I really do this, I'd have them install a mirror up there. MUCH more intense.