Saturday, October 7, 2017

October 7, 2017

Dear Diary,

Slept like a rock last night. I don't know if it's the cooler autumn weather or the new Valium gel-caps, but I woke up feeling great. Even the burns from the leather wrist straps didn't burn nearly as much as they usually do in the morning. My improvement gives me faith in our medical system and started me thinking about overhauling this whole Obamacare thing.

If Podesta hadn't completely screwed up everything I'd been a tad more successful in the you-know-what, it would be me calling the shots about a better way to scam those poor yokels out of their money insurance plans.  I can tell you one thing: if I ever do ascend to the throne become Commander in Chief, whatever plan I come up with is going to be null and void in Michigan, Pennsylvania and Ohio. Those states blue collar turncoats can keep their multi-racial out-of-wedlock baby bastards and pay for their own flu shots own state-funded plans if they so choose. It's the American system of freedom of choice!

If I were queen the woman in charge, I'd take a whole different approach.

1. I'd make abortions birth control mandatory available to everyone, including men, because I'm very pro equal rights. I also feel strongly that every woman has an obligation to control her own reproductive system, especially when she's not white disadvantaged. I remember reading about Margaret Sanger in college. She wanted to prevent black people from breeding really knew her stuff.

2. The next thing I'd do is encourage home health care, by sponsoring subsidies that make less costly remedies, like Colt 45 and Kool menthols, practically free by taxing Jews the wealthy. That would get those black votes the ethnic vote back in my win column. Also, Bill and I have stock in a bunch of rehab and cancer clinics, so everyone should make out pretty well.

3. The next thing I'd do is have the CDC audit for unnecessary medical tests. Those blood tests are so unnecessary. Same thing with urine tests. In the old days, the doctor tasted your sample and if was too sweet, you had diabetes. Simple. Some things don't need changing. I still taste my own urine every morning, but one quart is my limit. After that, my tummy gets a little growly.

Of course, neither Carrot Head or Congress returns my calls. I've always been the "big idea" person. I like to leave the details to the little people my staff. Come to think of it, that probably has to change, too.

Didn't work out so well last November.

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